


A Rainbow Drinker in the American West

by Olive_the_Olive



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, F/F, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Rainbow Drinkers, Road Trips, law breaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5636557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olive_the_Olive/pseuds/Olive_the_Olive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and Kanaya go on a road trip, Vriska comes along for the ride, and the undead are discussed more frequently than is strictly warranted. Includes locations of national significance, motels, and one car chase.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Rainbow Drinker in the American West

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xngurevar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xngurevar/gifts).



> Takes place on Earth, and Sburb never happened, but the trolls are still aliens and they're still from Alternia.

The plan had been to drive to some of the national parks out west. Rose had been out to Yellowstone once with her mother when she was younger, and she assured Kanaya that it was lovely.

“Being enclosed in a moving vehicle with my mother for several days was less fun. But this will just be the two of us.”

Kanaya loved the idea. She dearly wanted to see as much of the natural beauty of Earth as possible, and the thought of being alone with Rose on the open road struck her as very romantic and exciting, in a dangerous sort of way.

Unfortunately, a wrench was thrown into the plan the very morning they set out. This took the form of Vriska Serket, knocking on the door to their apartment at 7 am. Rose was still in the process of waking up, but Kanaya was in the kitchen, making coffee, and heard the knock.

Vriska came into a room like a storm, the kind that starts very sudden and strong, catching pedestrians unawares without their umbrellas.

“Hey, how's it going! Man, it's been a while, hasn't it?” Vriska entered the apartment without being asked, and Kanaya let her, too stunned to immediately form words, even if Vriska had paused to let her interject them. “I was in the area and thought, hey, why not check on my favorite meddler! You really shouldn't be such a stranger, Maryam. I've only been like, two hours away, max. You're making me put all the work in here. Is Lalonde still asleep?”

“I doubt it,” said Kanaya. “It is good to see you.”

Vriska tossed her head of wild hair and grinned, fangs glinting. Kanaya hated when she did that. “Great to see you too!”

Vriska quizzed her on what she was up to these days (still attending art school, but now running an online store for handmade accessories and clothing) and talked at length about how busy she'd been with everything she had accomplished recently, without giving Kanaya a very precise idea of what she had actually been doing.

Rose emerged from the bedroom, looking grumpy. She took one look at Vriska and got straight to the point: “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, nice to see you too, Lalonde! As cheerful as ever!” said Vriska, unruffled. Kanaya held out a cup of coffee to Rose, who took it and kissed her on the cheek before gulping it down, black.

“I do my best,” said Rose. “Now what are you doing here?”

Vriska gave a long-suffering sigh. “Jeez, I was just wanting to hang out with you guys for a few days, no need to get so defensive!”

“Did you get kicked out of your hivestem?” said Kanaya, alarmed, and then embarrassed once she realized she had reverted to a literal translation of an Alternian word, rather than anything that was remotely sensible in English. No one seemed to notice.

“Noooooooo, of course not!” said Vriska. “Uh, but I was thinking it might be nice to, y'know, lay low for a bit.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. She did this as much to express an air of skepticism as she did to show off that she could. “What happened?”

“Nothing!” Vriska insisted. “Just a tough break! This is just a streak of bad luck, they happen sometimes!”

“Well, we are not actually going to be here to hang out with,” explained Kanaya. “We are leaving on vacation today, to Yellowstone and also several other national parks, as time permits.”

“Wait, like a road trip??” asked Vriska, enthusiastic. “Even better, I'll come with you!”

Kanaya paused for a moment, conflicted. Having Vriska along would probably be a lot of fun. But she had been looking forward to traveling just with Rose. She looked over at Rose, who gave a shrug, which she knew to mean that Rose was leaving the decision to her. It did not, however, mean that Rose had no opinion on the matter. But it was so rare for Vriska to ask for help of any kind, or even accept it; this probably meant she was in more trouble than she was letting on.

Kanaya had not really been able to say no to Vriska Serket for a long time.

* * *

Their bags and cooler were packed into Rose's sedan within an hour, and they hit the road.

Most of their first day of the road was spent crossing Pennsylvania. It was summer, and everything was very green, the landscape mostly forests and farmland and gentle hills. Kanaya drove, Rose knitted in the passenger seat, and Vriska sat in the back looking at her phone, uncharacteristically quiet.

“We should stop up here for gas,” said Rose, without looking up from her knitting. “It will probably be cheaper.”

Rose was usually right about these things, so Kanaya exited the highway and pulled into a gas station. It was cheaper than where they had filled up in New York, at least.

“Are we stopping?” asked Vriska blearily from the back seat. “Good. I need some fresh air.”

Of course, when they stepped out of the car, the air smelled strongly of cows. Vriska wrinkled her nose and stalked off towards the gas station convenience store. She came back right as the tank topped off, with a few packs of gum and beef jerky.

“You know, we do have ingredients for sandwiches in the cooler,” said Rose, as Kanaya started the car. “We could always stop for lunch.”

“I'm not hungry yet,” said Vriska around a mouthful of jerky. “You guys want some?”

* * *

After lunch, Rose took a turn driving, which left Kanaya in charge of the radio. Or of operating it, at least.

“No,” said Rose.

She tried the next station. Some kind of interview. It sounded like it might be interesting.

“Boring,” said Vriska.

She switched it again. Country.

“God no.”

The next station was playing a recent pop song. The next, a commercial, and then the same pop song. Another station was so badly muddled by static that she could only guess at what was being said. After that was another country station.

“Come on, isn't there anything good on?” asked Vriska, after the third instance of the aforementioned pop song.

Kanaya frowned. “Rose, are your CDs in the car?”

“Did you put them in the car?” asked Rose patiently.

“I thought that they were usually already in here.”

“You may recall that last week we took them out of the car, so that we could burn several more playlists to disc and put them in the case. So unless they have all teleported back into the car, I think it is entirely possible that they are lying forgotten on the desk at home.” 

“Oh,” said Kanaya. “Oops.” She turned off the radio, and tried to focus on her book instead.

“What are you reading?” said Vriska.

“Uh.” Kanaya flashed the cover of the book at her as quickly as possible. “A book.”

“Hold on, is that another trashy rainbow drinker romance novel?” asked Vriska with undisguised glee. “You're still into those?”

“It's not trashy,” she said defensively. Rose made a kind of sniffing noise, and looking over at her revealed her eyes to be full of mirth. “And they are vampires.”

“Right, right. They're pretty much the same thing though, yeah?”

“They're somewhat similar,” Kanaya admitted. 

“I think it's remarkable, actually,” said Rose. “That two different cultures on different planets would create mythologies around such similar fictional monsters.”

* * *

That night they stopped at a motel in Ohio.

“We're making excellent time,” Rose commented.

Kanaya stretched her stiff muscles and dropped her bag next to the little table in their room.

“I don't think I have ever had to sit in one place for that long before,” complained Vriska.

“It's not that bad,” said Kanaya, vividly remembering a much longer trip. “I like watching the landscapes go by.”

“You're such a snooze sometimes, “ said Vriska. “I'm taking a shower.” She stalked off to the bathroom.

Kanaya sat heavily on the edge of one of the two motel beds. Rose was unpacking her nightclothes and her toiletries bag. It was purple fabric, but stiff and waterproof. With a sigh, Rose collapsed onto the same bed, next to Kanaya.

“I am glad we could go on this trip,” said Kanaya. “It is good to get away from things.”

“It feels more like I'm dodging all my responsibilities than anything,” Rose admitted from somewhere behind her. Kanaya knew she had been stuck on her latest writing project, and Rose did not do well when she wasn't doing things.

“That is what vacations are for, probably. Dodging all responsibility and committing yourself to having a good time without care for the consequences. This is what I have gathered from various Earth cultural works.”

Rose's mouth quirked up at the corners. The Oblivious Alien Girlfriend bit never seemed to get old for her. “You've been on vacations before. Were they the reckless hedonistic escapades you were led to believe they were?”

“No, not really, but road trips are a special case,” Kanaya assured her.

“Hm.”

Kanaya looked at her. Her short hair fanned out behind her on the bed, and her chest rose softly as she breathed. Kanaya felt that Rose's eyes held dangerous secrets and fortunes, the kind that could ruin someone. She was so beautiful.

“Hello,” breathed Kanaya.

“Hello yourself,” said Rose, smirking up at her.

Kanaya moved up the bed on her hands and knees, hovering. “You were saying something about reckless hedonistic escapades.”

Rose pulled her head down and kissed her.

Five minutes later, the door to the bathroom burst open with no warning whatsoever. “Wow, get a room, you two!”

To Kanaya's great displeasure, Rose removed her mouth from the vicinity of Kanaya's collarbone. “It just so happens,” she told Vriska, clearly irritated. “That we are already in a room.”

Vriska launched herself onto the other bed, wet hair dripping everywhere. She clearly hadn't made the slightest effort to towel it dry in the bathroom. Kanaya wondered if she had even washed it, or if she had just decided to get it soaked for the purpose of distributing water over everyone's immediate surroundings, regardless of whether they wanted it there or not.

“Geez, I'm just giving you a hard time! Why does everyone have to get so touchy about this crap? Don't even worry about me, pretend I'm not even here.”

Rose looked approximately how Kanaya felt, which is to say, like she might murder Vriska at any moment. Kanaya gently squeezed her hips, and Rose abruptly moved off of her, disentangling their limbs.

“Now that the bathroom is unoccupied,” said Rose, voice threatening, “I suppose I will brush my teeth.” The bathroom door clicked behind her.

“I don't know how you stand her,” said Vriska. “What a-”

Kanaya snapped. “Can you not.”

Vriska looked surprised, but didn't say anything, choosing to check something on her phone instead.

* * *

The next morning, they got breakfast at a nearby diner and set out early.

The landscape was flatter now, but still just as green. It felt so open. Kanaya supposed she should not be impressed by the vastness of it. She had grown up around impressive scenery herself, and had traveled through the great expanse of space, from one star to another. But it felt different, somehow, and she was impressed all the same.

They ran into traffic going through Chicago. It probably would have been faster to not go through Chicago at all, Rose said, but Kanaya and Vriska had never been, so they made the detour, just to see the buildings from the highway.

An hour past the city, the suburbs gave way to fields and farmland once again.

“We're back in the middle of nowhere,” said Vriska, as they pulled into a gas station.

“It reminds me of home,” said Rose serenely, presumably referring to her mother's house, which Kanaya did admit was a little out of the way.

“You and Fussyfangs both,” said Vriska. “She used to live in this awful desert.”

“And I liked it there,” said Kanaya firmly. She stopped the car in front of the pump.

“Yeah, cause you're a weirdo.” Vriska said it affectionately, Kanaya realized. She got out of the car and admired how perfectly she had lined up the gas cap with the pump, nodding to herself as Rose and Vriska got out of the car as well, presumably to stretch their legs. “I know you don't appreciate this Rose, since you're diurnal-”

“Hardly,” interjected Rose. She sometimes didn't get up until noon or even later, which Kanaya did not understand.

“But Maryam was quite the badass back on Alternia,” Vriska continued. “She was always going out to garden in the middle of the goddamn day!”

“She's mentioned,” said Rose, smiling but also looking like she didn't want to give anyone the satisfaction of having made her smile. “Including the part about the daystalkers. The anecdote is somewhat less impressive when you don't mention the daily battles with the undead.”

“Girls love it when I tell them about my battles with the undead,” joked Kanaya, smiling to herself.

Vriska started telling Rose about the awesome castle she'd had as a kid, and Kanaya's attention slipped away. She had heard all of this before, even if she had never seen the place, except in pictures. She escaped to the gas station bathroom, which of course was absolutely disgusting.

On her way back to the car she took in their surroundings, and noticed a few people staring. One from inside the gas station convenience store, another couple across the street. They had probably never seen a troll in the flesh before. Her species was somewhat uncommon on this planet, after all. And not likely to get more common, unless another few ships of refugees and misfits somehow found their way to Earth. And quite frankly, she could understand why humans would be so suspicious. All the same, their scrutiny made her nervous.

Rose was still at the car, Vriska inside the convenience store. Rose caught her glances at the gawkers and pursed her lips in that dissatisfied way that only made her more attractive.

When Vriska returned, Rose got in the drivers' seat, and the conversational topic of daywalkers resumed.

“I haven't seen any undead since getting to this rock,” mentioned Vriska. “Where the hell do they hang out?”

“I do not think there are any undead on this planet,” said Kanaya.

“No way!” insisted Vriska. “I've seen Earth movies with zombies and crap.”

“Oh, they all inhabit densely populated areas,” said Rose, in the matter of fact tone she used whenever she was pulling things out of her ass. “Modern zombies are largely harmless. They've been tamed through a rigorous consumerist program and their purchasing power is a crucial component of today's economy.”

“Rose,” said Kanaya.

“I know, I know, I'm neglecting to mention that many of them also work in the bitcoin mines,” said Rose smugly.

“Okay well first of all bitcoin mines do not exist,” said Kanaya. “Sollux once explained the currency to me, to my continuing regret and they seem to be largely conceptual. But also do you want to be responsible for Vriska murdering some poor shopper slash bitcoin enthusiast because she thought they were a zombie?”

Vriska laughed. “Can it, Maryam, I know when Lalonde's screwing with me.”

“Oh, well that is good.” It had taken Kanaya a disastrously long time to be able to reliably make that distinction.

They drove on. Kanaya liked how when they drove past rows of crops they all swept by in great big lines, forming patterns only visible when in motion.

“But seriously, where are the zombies on this planet?”

Kanaya let out a long suffering sigh and corrected her: “They are regarded as fictional here, Earth doesn't have any equivalent-”

She was interrupted by the ring of her cell phone. Surprised, she fumbled for her purse.

“Who is it?” asked Rose, keeping her eyes on the road.

“It's... Terezi,” said Kanaya. She stared at the caller ID.

“What?!” said Vriska.

“Hello?” said Kanaya when she answered the phone.

“Kanaya!” Terezi's voice crackled, a little too loud. Kanaya pulled the phone about an inch away from her ear. “How are you?”

“I am well,” she assured the other troll. “What about you?”

“Never been better!” shouted Terezi. “I was just wondering if you had seen Vriska!”

“Vriska? Yes, she's -” Kanaya turned around in her seat, to see Vriska making an X with her arms and then miming the act of violently choking herself. “Not here.”

“But you have seen her?” asked Terezi.

“No. Definitely not. It is just Rose here, and also me, and no third person. And this hypothetical and nonexistent third party, if they were here, would certainly not be Vriska, drawing one finger across her neck so as to indicate either my or her imminent demise or perhaps Rose's, should I tell you she is here. Which she is not.”

Terezi exploded into cackling laughter. Vriska snarled, “Give me the goddamn phone, Fussyfangs,” and snatched it from her.

“Miss me already, Pyrope?” she gloated into the receiver, cocky as always. “Uh huh... Is that all? No, I didn't! Why would you- well maybe you should start believing me, then! Wouldn't you like to know!” She hung up, furious, and threw the phone back at Kanaya.

“What was that?” said Rose.

“Did you guys break up or something?” asked Kanaya, looking between the phone and Vriska.

“Why, do you still have a thing for me?” said Vriska, moodily.

“What. I- no,” said Kanaya. “Why would you say that?”

“Relax, Fussyfangs. But no, it's not a break up per se, since we're not actually together right now. Also when I tell you I'm not here you're supposed to act like I'm not here! God!”

“Ah. Sorry.”

“Is that really all that's going on?” asked Rose, glancing at Vriska in the mirror.

“What is this, an interrogation?”

Rose made a judgmental noise in her throat but did not press the issue. Kanaya put her phone away and got out her book, and they passed a while in silence.

* * *

Vriska noticed the cop first.

“Oh, fuck,” she whispered.

Kanaya twisted in her seat to see, and Rose glanced in the mirror. A highway patrol car, gaining on them from behind.

“Should we let them pass us?” asked Kanaya.

“I can if you want,” said Rose, observing Vriska's distress. “But I don't see any reason to be concerned about him. I'll pull over when there's a shoulder. Or... right here,” she added as the police car wailed its siren. “I suppose he's in a hurry.”

“No,” muttered Vriska. Rose pulled over, and the cop followed suit. “No no no no no no no. Let's just lose him, I bet we could-”

“Calm down,” said Kanaya, her blood pusher beating fast in spite of herself. She had to remind herself that this was not Alternia, and authority figures were slightly less likely to indiscriminately and arbitrarily murder them than she had grown up to believe. Not that it couldn't happen, of course. But chances are, it wouldn't, so there was really nothing to worry about.

Rose turned off the engine, and watched her mirror. Kanaya wasn't sure if she was watching the cop or Vriska, who was very much trying to pretend that she was part of the upholstery. “Not that it wouldn't be fun, but why would we want to lose him?” she asked, her voice even.

Vriska didn't meet their eyes. “Because I stole cash from the registers at like three of the gas stations we've been to.”

“You didn't!” Kanaya hissed.

“You held up three gas stations?” said Rose. She sounded almost... impressed?

“I didn't _hold anyone up_ ,” said Vriska. “I put them to sleep. If there had been any trolls working I would've just had them give me extra change, but we're in the middle of fucking nowhere so-”

Kanaya was furious. “Why would you-”

“We can talk about this later,” said Rose, cutting her off ten times faster than she had cut off Vriska. “When we don't have company.” The police officer had left their vehicle and was walking towards them. She rolled down the window.

“Is there a problem, officer?” asked Rose. The officer, Kanaya noted, was a male with light coloration.

“You know how fast you were going?”

“Yes,” said Rose.

“We were going 3 miles under the speed limit in this area,” offered Kanaya helpfully. And odd talent perhaps, but she knew that without having looked at the speedometer.

The policeman ignored her and asked Rose for her license and registration. She handed them over, and he barely glanced at them before giving them back and asking if her passengers also had some form of identification.

“Certainly,” said Kanaya. She handed her license over to Rose, who offered it to the police officer, who inexplicably crumpled to the ground. Kanaya gasped, and Rose stuck her head out the window to see what had happened to him. Kanaya turned to Vriska. “Why did you do that?”

“Come on!” shouted Vriska. “Drive!”

Rose hit the accelerator. Behind them the police lay on the shoulder of the road, peacefully snoozing.

* * *

They kept driving for hours after it had gotten dark, only stopping for food and gas. Rose remained tense and focused in a way that Kanaya knew meant she was exhausted.

“Rose,” said Kanaya. “We need to stop.”

“We need to keep going,” said Rose, eyes forward.

“It's late and you're exhausted. Let's stop at a motel, just for a few hours.”

“I'm fine,” insisted Rose.

“I'll take a turn driving!” said Vriska.

“I said I'm fine!”

“You're too tired,” snapped Kanaya. “And you're the only one of us without real night vision so either let one of us drive or find a motel.”

Rose jerked the steering wheel, taking a freeway exit too fast. Kanaya held on to the sides of her seat, pulse rushing through her head.

By some miracle, they were able to find a motel quickly and without fuss. Kanaya was the one to go to the front desk, and Rose pulled up to the correct room at her direction. She jammed the key into the lock, nearly wrenching the door apart when the key stuck a little. Vriska barreled past them on her way to the bathroom.

“You're angry,” Rose observed, in a tone that told Kanaya she was projecting.

“I am frustrated,” said Kanaya slowly.

“You're frustrated,” Rose echoed. Kanaya couldn't stand it when she did that. “About what?”

“For starters,” said Kanaya. “We just knocked out an officer and fled the scene. How do we explain that?”

“Well,” said Rose. “We'll figure that out if we ever need to explain ourselves to anyone.”

“It seems very unlikely that we would not have to do that. I don't know what we're supposed to do, neither do you, and apparently you don't care enough to think through anything you-”

“I am not stupid,” spat Rose, her eyes narrowed.

“Of course not! When it is my intelligence being questioned it is no big deal, but as soon as one so much as implies that you are not thinking things through all the way it becomes a matter of pride!”

Kanaya was furious. She was stressed and afraid and so angry that she wanted to kiss Rose breathless, which was a feeling she was certain Rose would never understand (for all the academic interest she might show in the matter) because she was a goddamn alien.

“Guys?” Vriska had emerged from the bathroom and was staring at them. Kanaya was dimly aware of Vriska approaching as she took hold of the front of Rose's blouse. Rose didn't flinch and raised a hand to – 

“Woah! Okay, no, let's not do this,” said Vriska. She was holding Rose's arm, and pulling Kanaya away. “Seriously, this is the stupidest time to flip, what the hell are you guys thinking? Introduce your human girlfriend to new quadrants later, Maryam, geez.”

Kanaya flushed. “What, so you can introduce her to them?”

“Don't be jealous, Fussyfangs. Now listen, you guys are gonna apologize for all the dumb shit you just said, and then we're going to get some goddamn sleep and figure out all of this tomorrow. Okay?”

Kanaya licked her lips before nodding. “Okay.”

“Right,” said Rose.

“Good!” Vriska released them and fell onto the closest bed.

For a long moment Rose and Kanaya just looked at each other.

“You aren't stupid,” said Rose, very quietly.

“Neither are you,” said Kanaya. “But I think you already knew that.”

* * *

The next morning found them back in the car, still heading west – Kanaya in the drivers' seat and Rose on the passengers' side, knitting furiously the entire way.

“I totally get it if you guys don't want me tagging along anymore,” Vriska was saying magnanimously. “Actually, you can just let me off the next place we stop with plenty of people. Some tourist trap, you know?”

“Maybe Mount Rushmore would work, or somewhere in Rapid City,” said Rose. “It's bound to be infested with tourists.”

“There you go!” said Vriska, clapping Rose on the shoulder. “Just drop me off there! At Rushmore, not the other place. I kinda want to see the thing, it's in so many movies.”

“Are you going to hitchhike?” asked Kanaya, doubtful.

“Something like that.”

Kanaya did not like the sound of that at all.

“Leaving us to claim that you were mind controlling us, I'm guessing?” said Rose, catching on quickly. Meaning that Vriska was planning on – 

“You are not serious,” said Kanaya flatly. “You cannot be planning on mind controlling yourself a ride out of the country.”

“Hey, why not?” said Vriska. “Actually, you think if I stole a boat, that Jade would be cool with me hiding out on her island for a while?”

“It makes sense,” said Rose. “They're looking for this car. Pushing all the blame onto one person – and sorry Vriska, but you're the one who's been actually pulling off robberies – will make things easier for the two of us once the police catch up to us. We can call the police once we get into a populated area, pretend that Vriska just switched cars there, not back here, or that we were still under her control or something. That way you'll have a head start.”

“My powers do have a pretty big range, actually,” said Vriska. “It's entirely feasible that I could mind control one driver going one way and another driver going the opposite direction. Like, if I were actually gonna do it, it'd be kind of a pain to divide my attention like that. But I could.”

South Dakota was much less flat than the midwest. Windswept hills rolled on forever, and occasionally short little plateau-like formations would stick up out of the plains. Eventually the straight flat highways they had been on so far were replaced with curving mountain roads. It was late afternoon when Rushmore came into view.

“I think that's it up ahead,” said Rose.

Kanaya was too focused on the road to be able to look that hard, and the mountain was backlit by the remaining light, but she could see it. She honestly wasn't sure what she thought.

Vriska, however, was delighted. “Hey! That's it! You think it's really full of gold?”

“What?” said Kanaya.

“You should find out,” said Rose, with some amusement.

“Why would it be full of gold?” asked Kanaya, horribly confused.

“Don't worry about it,” said Vriska. “It does seem busy enough around here that I can probably get a ride, though.”

There was a parking lot near the mountain. Kanaya prepared to turn in, but Rose stopped her.

“Don't get in that lane!” she said urgently. “Move to the left. Shit.”

Kanaya switched back into the left lane, confused, until she saw several patrol cars waiting near the entrance to the parking lot. She stopped at the light, hoping they took no notice of their car. It was not the type of car to stand out. It was a sensible white sedan, hardly distinguishable from every other sensible white sedan on the roads.

Her hopes were dashed when two of the police cars moved towards the parking lot exit. Another patrol car came up behind them out of nowhere.

“We're fucked,” said Vriska. A siren chirped behind them. Kanaya gunned the engine.

She sped away. It took the police a moment to even realize what she was doing, before they also crossed the intersection in pursuit. She curved around the rest of the parking lot, swerved briefly into the left lane to pass someone, and raced off.

Vriska was beside herself. “I can't believe you're doing this! You're amazing Fussyfangs, they're never gonna catch us!”

Getting caught was, in Kanaya's mind, a secondary concern. The first one was not driving off a cliff. On one side of them was a rockface, and therefore injury or death. One their other side was a significant drop, and therefore death and more death.

They passed more tourists, and then a sign which informed her that the road was windy, if she had somehow failed to notice that.

The sirens were loud behind them, and a couple of the cop cars were gaining on them.

“Oh no you don't,” said Vriska, as they passed through a more closed in section.

There was a crash behind them that made Kanaya jump. A glance in the mirror told her that one of the cops had went off the road and crashed into a pine.

They sped past a lake, thick with tourists, dodging cars. Kanaya held down the gas as far as it would go as they climbed up a hill and took a turn at nearly twice the recommended speed. She heard another car crash – they had wiped out on the curve.

“Oh hey, I didn't even need to put that one to sleep!” said Vriska.

A few more minutes of breakneck driving got them to an intersection.

“Do you think I've lost them?” asked Kanaya, turning south onto the interstate.

“One car still on our tail,” reported Rose. Kanaya marveled that throughout the chase, Rose had not stopped knitting. She had not even dropped a stitch.

“I'm trying to take them out,” said Vriska, frustrated. “But my powers aren't – oh.”

“What?” said Kanaya, pulling onto a different highway at the first opportunity.

“Stop the car.”

“What?!” echoed Rose.

“Stop the car!!”

Kanaya turned off the road entirely, onto a dirt trail, and cautiously hit the brakes. Their pursuer slowed as well, maintaining a safe distance.

“What are you doing?” snapped Rose. They came to a stop, and Vriska got out of the car. “Vriska!”

The other car stopped behind them, and a door opened. A troll stepped out, and Kanaya immediately recognized Terezi.

“I'm flattered,” called Vriska. The wind whipped through her hair, giving her a dramatic silhouette against the pink sky. The forest towered above her, but that somehow only made her more impressive. “Did you come all this way just to stope me?”

“Someone has to!” insisted Terezi, her cane pressed into the dirt in front of her.. “I am disappointed in Miss Lalonde and Miss Maryam for enabling this.”

“Lay off, Terezi, they don't know the half of it. An eighth of it, even!”

“So they don't know about the loan shark found dead in your apartment?”

“Fuck,” said Kanaya, as Rose drew a sharp intake of breath.

“I was framed! Terezi, you of all people should know I'm not that sloppy with a murder.”

“Turn yourself in and tell that to the courts!”

Kanaya made a split second decision, and got out of the car. Her instinct was to demand some kind of explanation, or insist that they all talked this out. Something even-handed and reasonable and less likely to get them all killed. Only once she was out of the car did it register to her that leaving the drivers' seat significantly slowed Vriska's path of retreat, and that was all that Terezi had been waiting for. She unsheathed a sword from her cane and rushed them. 

Everything seemed to slow down and be happening very fast, all at the same time. Terezi was moving forward, Vriska jumping back, and Kanaya reached for a tube of lipstick that she hadn't unsheathed since leaving Alternia. The roar of a chainsaw was music to her ears, an old song that she had forgotten, and she advanced, ready to do anything to survive, and more to protect the terribly reckless people she loved.

And then there was a sharp pain in her middle. And her weapon was just a lipstick again. And there was green everywhere. And Terezi's blind red eyes were wide in horror.

Someone was saying her name.

The world was so green. And then it went black.

* * *

The first thing she was aware of, before she even opened her eyes, was that she was wrapped in light. It surrounded her on all sides, warm and comforting, reminding her of hot days in Alternia, standing in the garden with eyes closed and her face turned to the sun.

The second thing she noticed was that she was really hungry.

She cracked her eyes open, and someone was saying her name. Vriska was driving. She turned her head and looked up into Rose's grief-stricken face, which was bathed in the same light she had felt earlier. She was lying in Rose's lap in the back seat of the car, and they were moving. She didn't understand why Rose looked so upset, and then she remembered Terezi and the sword, and surmised that she must be dying now, which was why Rose was so sad.

She didn't feel like she was dying, though. Her abdomen still hurt where she had been stabbed, but the pain was nothing unmanageable. She mostly just felt hungry. Starving, in fact.

She must have said this aloud because Rose said something about sandwiches and Vriska was saying, “Holy shit, Maryam, you've gone full rainbow drinker.”

Rose pressed her wrist against Kanaya's mouth. She sank her fangs in and tasted blood and suddenly she was awake and aware and sheepishly removing her mouth from Rose's arm.

“Sorry about that,” she said. “I could still go for that sandwich.”

* * *

When Kanaya had her sandwich, and the strength to sit up, she propped herself up so she could see out the window. Her arms, she realized, were glowing, and there were bandages wrapped around her midsection. Some green was seeping though.

Outside the world was being slowly illuminated by the rising sun. Water stretched out beside them.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“Inside the park,” said Rose. “That's Yellowstone Lake.”

“It's lovely,” said Kanaya. Rose nodded.

“Vriska's going to drive farther into the park and then find a ride out of here,” said Rose.

“What happened to Terezi?”

“We slashed her tires!” crowed Vriska.

* * *

They left Vriska by the visitor's center outside Old Faithful. Between that, the lodge, and a couple of restaurants, there were plenty of tourists around with plenty of cars.

“For the record, I still think this is a dumb idea,” Kanaya told Vriska. “But I'm not going to stop you.”

“Well, hey, I appreciate the thought, Fussyfangs,” she replied, grinning. “Still, I know you never wanted to be responsible for me. Thanks for letting me tag along!”

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do,” said Rose. “Actually, don't do plenty of things I would do.”

“Lalonde I have no idea what you would or would not do, I just know you would be knitting while you do it, and I'm not taking up crafts.”

Vriska walked off across the parking lot. Kanaya got in the passengers' seat, and Rose drove them north, to go see the hot springs.

If Kanaya had thought people had stared before, they couldn't tear their eyes away now that she glowed like a lightbulb. She and Rose walked along the boardwalk constructed around the scalding ponds, and she tried to ignore the stares. (“I warned you,” said Rose. Kanaya told her that she had killed that meme one day from its retirement. Its family of in-jokes would be devastated.)

The air was thick with sulfur, and the pools were bright and colorful, spanning half the rainbow. They looked more like blood than water.

When Terezi caught up with them she wrinkled her nose at either the smell or the color and demanded to know where Vriska was. Rose told her they didn't know.

“You should know,” Kanaya told her, “That any illegal activity on our part was obviously the result of Vriska's mind control, which we were only just released from. That is of course how yesterday evening my torso carelessly impaled itself on your sword.”

“Obviously,” said Terezi. “You'll have to come in for questioning, but there is no need for anyone to press charges.” The clear understanding was that this went both ways, but Kanaya had not been intending to make a fuss over a new hole in her stomach, so it felt like a moot point.

“Then we are in agreement,” said Rose. “You have our full cooperation, of course. Although if it is at all possible, we would like to get back to our vacation soon. I had so wanted to take Kanaya to visit Arches.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hope you enjoyed this! Or at least that the time I spent mapping out routes in Google Maps and inspecting them in street view was not spent totally in vain.
> 
> This fic was actually an attempt to combine two prompts, one being to send a couple characters on a felonious roadtrip, and the other being the auspistice in an ashen relationship creating the conflict that gives them reason to conciliate.
> 
> So, uh, the rainbow drinker stuff was all me. Hopefully that's your cup of tea?
> 
> [The road trip prompt also suggested killing off everyone at the end but I am too much of wuss. Sorry.]


End file.
